ic inbox (duplicity)

[starryeye]

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fibber overflow; alwayskayaking

[starryeye]

[This is pretty much the one subject that will warm her up a little to talk about.]

I do. I mean, I know everyone saw some shit on the boat but that was obviously, you know, boat shit.

[Everyone saw her get dragged away from the dinner table and into the kitchen by her hair, at Bree's hand. Not that getting fucked with a knife handle in the kitchen wasn't kind of incredibly hot.]

She's been with me...six years now, I guess? Married for almost three.

[alwayskayaking]

So you know each other from home? Here I thought Sasha and I were a rarity when it came to that.

[starryeye]

You might be. We might be. I've only heard of a few other couples like us, at least one of which isn't here anymore.

You and Sasha are a thing at home, then?

[alwayskayaking]

Not exactly. I mean, we are very close friends back home, but not an item. She didn't want to date people she worked with. [That and the fact that she died, but Tim isn't sure if Sasha wants people to know so he keeps that to himself.]

[starryeye]

That's kind of cute, actually. You've been here awhile, then?

[alwayskayaking]

A couple years now. Had a bit of a rocky start, but getting better now.

[starryeye]

I'm pretty confident that "rocky start" describes everyone in this place.

[alwayskayaking]

I suppose none starts more rocky then the way we met?

[starryeye]

[hmm. It takes Orla a minute to decide how to answer this.]

You'd be surprised. You're not actually the only person I've met that way.

[alwayskayaking]

I'm sorry. You deserve much better than that. [It's an extreme understatement as he can't properly portray how he actually feels over text about that.]

[starryeye]

I mean, both times were city bullshit. People not in their right minds. You're also not the only person on the boat who pulled that shit with me. Just the only one I didn't know pre-boat.

[Also, the only one where she hadn't already started shit. That mist had her picking fights with men twice her size.]

[It takes her a minute to come up with something that doesn't lay more guilt on him -- not because she doesn't think he deserves it, but because she doesn't want to get into the habit of looking unreasonable about city bullshit -- and also isn't a lie.]

I think we're all gonna be untangling threads we spun on that boat for awhile.

[alwayskayaking]

I wish I had never set foot on that damn boat.

[starryeye]

I get that.

I don't regret it. It was shitty, but we learned a lot. We know what to prepare for if we wanted to try again.

[Orla hasn't heard a lot of people agreeing with that sentiment, that trying again might be worth it, but she continues to believe it. It's probably that stubborn, slightly crazy streak that stresses her wife out so much. But she believes it. Maybe once everyone's had more time to cool down.]

[alwayskayaking]

I regret it. I love to sail; still do, but I will never not wish that I told Sasha she couldn't go and we both just stayed on shore.

[starryeye]

Maybe that's a flaw I have. You give me the choice between landing in one place and a chance, even in horrible circumstances, to get on a ship and go, I'll go every time.

[alwayskayaking]

I'm willing to run, but if I knew how I would act on that boat? That wouldn't have been worth the escape.

[starryeye]

I can understand that.

It speaks well of you, that you feel that way.

[alwayskayaking]

Coming from you? That means a lot to me.

[starryeye]

I try not to let city bullshit get under my skin. Sometimes it does anyway and then I try to get over it.

[alwayskayaking]

Easier said than done, right? Or at least, I think that way.

[starryeye]

Sometimes, yes. I'm pretty good at it, most of the time. It's a skill I've had to develop in my life back home, but this place is so everything happening all the time I can imagine it would be hard to really develop it here.

[alwayskayaking]

Any tips you can offer?

[starryeye]

[There's a pause while she thinks about it for a minute.]

Being fucked with isn't the same as being injured. Being injured isn't the same as being dominated. Being dominated isn't the same as being subjugated. Don't let them become each other.

[alwayskayaking]

I'll try to keep that in mind.